So ... I'm not sure how I should feel about being seen as a "fashion accessory" ... I mean I know I'm 'cute as a button' and all, but am I really something to be worn around town??? I am a human being after all (a very small one, but still one none the less). Aren't there rights to protect babies from this kind of ... this ... embarrassing type of stuff? I think I'm going to need to get a good lawyer to prohibit my parents from embarrassing me like this all the time ...
And this all started today when Mommy and Daddy were talking to each other, saying "blab blab blab baby Bjorn blab blab blab baby Bjorn" and so I thought I was going to get to play with some other kid today, but then the next thing I know is that I'm being strapped into this huge contraption around Mommy's upper body. Worse yet, I knew Boobie was hanging out right around there, but she was trapped behind the contraption ... so close, but yet so far away ... oh, the horror!
Mommy, Baby Bjorn, and Avery
And then Daddy wanted to strap me on and strut around the house too ... like I guess I don't get a say in what they do to me? I'm only two months old and my parents are already suffocating me. What will they do next ... put me on top of their head and wear me like a hat! Please, if anyone has the number to a good child advocate lawyer, please forward it to me asap!!!
Daddy, Baby Bjorn, and Avery
2 comments:
Avery Claire, it's even worse than you think. Your mother is getting her revenge for having been dragged across most of Western Europe at age 4 months in a 'Snuglie,' a pre-Baby Bjorn contraption similarly designed to humiliate and smother the baby. In the years since your mother was subjected to this treatment, I believe Europe has banned these devices, along with land mines and cluster bombs. Unfortunately for you, the U.S. still allows them (however, unlike Europe, it guarantees you the right to pack a 9mm in your Baby Bjorn, should you so inclined).
I'm beginning to think, dear Avery, that you have just a touch of the drama queen in you! Your happy expression belies your complaints about being used as a fashion accessory. And, until you are a bit more mobile and able to accessorize yourself, being worn as a decoration will suffice. Also, I am quite pleases to see that as attachment you have lovely posture.
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